one two three fourrrrnication!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
