The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you had me at cake vodka
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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