question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
