well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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