so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
