in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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