Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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