i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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