Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
