we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
