brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
