thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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