I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
