I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
