Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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