So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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