Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
