If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
