No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
