Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
