Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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