i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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