Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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