1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
