Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
