dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
