girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
