his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
