just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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