I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
