You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
