Porn is love you can see.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
