Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
