I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
