Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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