so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
