Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
