It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
