Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
