Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
