I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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