Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
