I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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