sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
