After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
