So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
