He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
