the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
