They should really pass out barf bags in church
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
