Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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