beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
