im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
